The present is free but time is limited
I can do anything with my time, it is the only thing I can give freely, but that doesn't mean I have any to spend with you.
the sun is burning my retinas
Slapping on the spf...blabla whatcamacallit is making me feel pretty yucky.
I hate putting it on but I hate needles more and the thought of skin cancer makes me wanna barf!
The next best thing? Long sleeve cardigans...which makes me look pregnant but hides the double muffins I have.
Writing this down as I lounge under the sun while cooing 'toilet, toilet, toilet' to Clare who gives me the 'are you on some kind of weird medication?' look....'bitch' I muttered when she ignores me and goes off to eat some other dogs shit.
I call her the turd burglar
It has gross me out more than once and I have banned her from the bedroom many times but I am starting to accept it. Like how cat owners let their felines lick their face after they had a full on ass licking fiesta under the sun.
She is about to partake on the delicacy when I slap the pad I am writing on to my hands making a satisfactory 'whack! whack!' Her head comes up immediattely and is hesitant to come to me. I do a few more whacks (with my hand stinging) and she does a regretful look at her turd and runs back to me.
Hur hur hur, that will teach you. She is pretty obedient after we beat the hell out of her (well MOH did) when she chased after this old man as we were cleaning the garage. Scared the bee gees out of him. MOH got so angry his notrils were flaring and he walked over with some newspaper and whacked her good.
The fact that it was only 4 pieces of newspaper and was already bent and soft by the time he reached her didnt matter. I doubt it hurt....but MOH flaring nostrils must have done the trick. After the beating she quickly ran to me and I gave her the thumbs up.
Ahh, that ice tea felt pretty good! I can feel my hat frying under the hot Sun, Ahh the blue blue sky. I wonder if I can see that big hole in the oxone layer. The sky here is pretty low, no clouds.
Clare is sitting beside me and everytime she shakes herself drool flies all over me, most of it landing on the writing pad. Ahh, the word 'pad' is smudged now. Wiping the drool off only makes it worse.
I take off my sun glasses and made the mistake of looking up to the sky. Pretending to be someone else as I put my hand up to shield my eyes. Opening my fingers slightly to let some rays shine through...directly into my eyes.
The sun is burning my retinas.
Till Then
ooh yes you fooled me so well. Yes, you did
I can still taste the acid in my mouth as you gleefully told me that you lied.
Lied, was not afraid to do it again, nay, would not hesitate to do it if the chance arose.
I reached out to help and you lash out with your acerbic wit, leaving me alone as you fall into into the hole of your own making.
I remember when we were still holding hands, laughing cherishing.
Soft kisses, experimenting, light touches, shy glances.
Was it me? What a stupid thing to reminisce, to long for days gone by.
I was fooled and yet I would gladly believe the illusion you gave me.
How foul! foul! foul!
I hear your laughter.
What a fool, a fool, a fool.
And yet I would do it all over again with you. You have fooled me oh so cleverly.
Till Then
yes! oh yes!
I have died and gone to romancy novella heaven!
2.32 am Saturday morning, mist is settling and I can see the light shining from the lamp post
I feel as if I am coming out of my skin.
Excited, stretching and just thinking.
The night has been fun, but I sometimes wonder why I just can't keep my mouth shut. There is silence and I feel I must fill it. Am I so afraid to just let everyone settle in and to get to know each other?
Am I funny? Ha ha ha funny? or laughing at her funny?
I ask, but I don't really care, just don't ask me questions where I have to ask myself if I can be honest and risk losing credibility or gain a new found friend for life.
Plans everywhere, abundant but no energy to action, lazy, fatigue, biting my knuckles wondering the possibilities of failure.
I always try to be positive, I tell people I'm positive, is it all just a lie? Am I a lie? Am I what you thought I was before you speak to me? Do I break the mould or stay stuck in a form that is predictable?
I.want.to.break.out.
Skin is feeling tingly, mind is active, am afraid to take action.
What if I fail?
Who wants to be a failure? Would you?
I feel as if I'm coming out of my skin.
Till Then
sigh
i really miss home at this moment.