Archives
This is for you
This entry has been sitting in the draft box from last week. I celebrated my birthday last Saturday at home with my good friends and family members. I didn’t drink too much, I had to do the fake “ugh I’m gonna vomit! I can’t drink anymore” tactic. It helped that I look so red that I was about to explode! It’s good to have the poor man’s drinking complexion where a sip or two makes even the darkest skin people go bright red as if burnt by the sun.
Friends from as far as Rotorua came to celebrate and I even had my personal chef on hand, Mr Hock Chai. He handled the bbq and kitchen area (where most of the fun loving people were) and I handled the living room (where those who just wanted to sit down and play Tekken all night were) I started the drinking games early and tried to get the more seasoned drinkers sloshed before they did the “who is going to get Audrey drunk first” game. I saved myself from having a date with the porcelain bowl of life, I tell you.
To the wonderful people who came all the way out west to a simple birthday bash, I thank you. I thank Mag and Darren for coming even though it was so late. They were at the kitchen most of the time waiting for food J Then, next thing I know I can hear Mag screaming as she plays Tekken. Intense. Wei En, Sheng and Henry came late as well. I forced Henry to play the drinking games since he had that twinkle in the eye which is usually apparent in people who want to drink. Yin looked awesome that night in her lovely black dress and red scarf and Shaun was good fun as always.
Then there was the hardcore group, the group that didn’t drive and came in taxis so that they can drink and drown together. They made so much noise! Sang karaoke outside, sweared and sang inside and sloshed each other in alcohol. Most of them were from kk, I wonder whether that says a lot about us or not much... but most definitely not in a very good light.
I thought that if I ask people to bring alcohol they wouldn’t bring presents but most of them did and what a pleasure it was opening them. I felt like I was 12 all over again. They gave me a box chocolates, a humongous bottle of champagne (perfect for my graduation dinner this October. Yes! I am graduating, but that’s for another post), skincare products (OV thank you), body shop (Ivan left the price tag there, his face turned so red when I told him), a lovely necklace from Daidy, a very good book of quotes from Alien, Mr Potato Superman version (I love it!), Conan figurine (omg!I love Conan, I have read the comic book since I was in high school. The present brought back happy memories. Thank you Darren and Mag for that).
I received the funny wishes on sms from Irene, Fung Fung, Miao, Dilun, Jeremy, Swan, Sue and Li Yang J Thank you. Then there was that awesome blog post from Shermayne who posted some gawd awful pictures of me. Thanks babe, I see that you don’t seem to see me as a very attractive individual :P I wanted to invite everyone I know to the dinner, the people who I have let into my life, barge into it, touched it, ignored it, have made me who I am today and I wanted to share a day with them. Unfortunately, that wish was not granted after MOH said “no- no, don’t break my heart~” he scared the rumah roboh nanti. Fuh~ apa bulih buat.
I thank you all for comingJ I do not know any other way to express my gratitude but to say :
GO TO MACDONALD
DON’T KNOW WHAT TO EAT, AH!
DON’T KNOW WHAT TO EAT, AH!
HAMBURGER AH! HAMBURGER!
FRENCH FRIES AH! FRENCH FRIES!
COLA AH! COLA!
YuuUuuuuumMMMMMMMmmmmmMM SeEEEEEEEeeeeenNNNggggggggg!!!
A friend so far away
I received an email from Marc again, and it sounds like he is having such an adventure. Marc is traveling all around China with a friend. In his emails he explains the sights he sees, the sounds he hears and the smell of each city. I can feel the excitement in his emails, the sense of adventure it evokes within my own breast is a tantalizing feeling.
I envy Marc but in a good way. I envy him for being able to just pack his bags and move to another country not knowing the language or culture. He is like a sponge, he immerses himself in his surroundings soaking everything in. He can make friends with anyone, he is flamboyant and passionate. I need that in my life. I feel tied down by nothing but myself. It’s hard to shake these chains off. But oh, when I read his emails I feel like I too am walking the hard stones of the China Wall. Looking at the lilies on the pond of the Forbidden City and trudging along at the foot of Mt Everest. I envy him and love him at the same time for bringing me with him on his adventures.
All this from an email sent lovingly from a friend so far away.
Britttaaaannnneeeyyy
I still think your the shitz, even with all the pepet shows, baldy fetishes and bad child rearing strats...I still think your the shitzel to my pretzel.
On the way to school
I hate the times when I'm alone. These are the times that I am assailed with feelings and memories that I have forgotten. Walking to the bus stop after school. Walking and dancing in the rain with my ex love. Holding my mothers hand when she was in the hospital. Talking to my brother as he looked away. Screaming at my sister when we fight. Hating Bronson when we fight. Hating myself when I say "I do not regret anything", believing in it and then worrying over it when I'm alone.
The things I said about school mates to other people knowing that it would get back to them. Feeling icky when I realised my best friend loved me. Handling my relationships wrongly, acting out of hurt and anger and never thinking things through. Remembering how I always felt as if I was alone all the time. Knowing my friends thought of me as the rich little girl and never really wanted to be friends with me. I always feel stupid when I remember it. Wondering why it hurt so much even when I told myself it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter when I was invited to a birthday party, showed up at the venue only to realise 4 hours later that I was tricked.
Whenever I catch myself remembering I try to shake it off as if I was out in the rain. Like a puppy awkwardly shaking the water off its fur. Not fully dry and the feeling always lingers.
Sometimes, on days like this being alone isn't so bad. I get to remember the times I spent with my family. The laughing and the reaching of hands as we tried to keep up with each other. The kind words of people who I won't see again. The first time I had a puppy. The time my first ever boyfriend said I love you. Walking to the bus stop under the hot sun only to be cooled by the cooling sea air. Having a good time with my school mates and not knowing or caring about anything outside of school. Hugging Li Yang and saying stupid things. Talking about silly things in the dark with Eugenie. Netball.
Laughing out loud with memories like the time I got stuck in the toilet. How my church friends were able to make fun of each other. Singing and dancing. Feeling good even though I didn't look good.Dota.
All this remembering and thinking always when I was on my way to school.
Till Then
