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drinking antibiotics
That's what Naz likes to do, drinking alcoholic concoctions that taste as vile as antibiotics and so does Miao. It's 3.30am and I just got back from a party session with my good friends here in KK. Nothing new in the clubbing scene here. Same old, same old but as they say it's the company that makes it fun. I had a riot but I don't think I'll be clubbing anytime soon.
Spare me!
lol
halooo
Finally, I have the time and energy to type in a couple of words and send it off as an entry!
My holiday so far here in KK has been really good. All I do is hang around at home, clean up the house for the festive seasons, go out with friends for drinks and chat about nothing and everything, go clubbing...twice and play dota...twice. I haven't played dota for so long that I'm getting withdrawal systems. I really want to try out the new version where it is now 6 on 6. No more solo's on the bottom lane, it would now be 2 heroes for each lane. I wonder how is that gonna pan out. OoOOOooO more combos to try out.
I have planned a white water rafting excursion with friends. Wait slash that, Bronson's friends and my brother, even then my bro might not come cause he doesn't want to the youngest one there. Heck, no need to socialise mah! Just go and have fun with water and possibly drink some finger licking brown padas water. Yup, that's where I'm gonna go rafting, Padas River. It's a pity that Eugenie is gonna miss it
But New Years will be a blast just because you'll be here with me
Ok, back to rafting, it's so hard to get people to join! Specifically Sabahans ya, I freaking got 4 KL people down for some river action but the locals are CHICKEN! Bwak bwak bwak bwak. Some are scared of going near water (due to early childhood trauma of nearly drowning), others want to go shopping and the rest are...I don't know la, I just switch off when I see them starting to shake their head, open their mouth and go "ya da ya da ya da ya da ya da ya da"
lol. Ok la ok la some have valid reasons concerning health and other travelling plans -_-
So anyhoo,
It'll be a busy time this dec with Bronson coming down form NZ, his friend Colin from KL and Eugenie is dropping by from Kuching. My family and I are gonna cram in as many family dinners, island sojourns, trips to the mountains and dota into this month (well dota is for me la actually). When December ends and January arrives I'm gonna be in KL Will be there on the 4th of January. Shermayne, I have your number saved on my mobile. See you there!
Wah, I wonder if Mei is back from Europe?
OKies! enough babbling back to sleep now or read a book or two. Ahhhh..holiday!
Till Then
Life Decisions
I was watching a home made video that a group of Americans made. They were practising their Thriller moves to show to their kids at some camp where they were working as specialist and counsellors.
It made me remember about the time some guys from a student exchange thingy came to University to aks if any of us were interested in goign to the states to become camp counsellors. Teaching disabled kids to draw, swim, write etc etc. It sounded like a lot of work but it also promised a wealth of experience and memories for us to attain. I was this close >--------< to volunteering for the trip. It would commence next year 2007 early February.
What stopped me from going was the decision I made before I came to New Zealand, promises whispered in the heat of the moment, vows made when angered and expectations needing to be met. Going off to the States would break all said vows and promises. I would get to have fun and experience something that I might never have the chance to do while leaving behind responsibilities, hurt feelings and people that I love. Never mind that the trip would only take 6 montsh to a year the most. It's the principle of things. Am I making sense?
I want to do everything at the same time but I am now at the point of my life where any decisions I make now will affect how I will be, what I can become in the future. So many things are unravelling at once in my life. I don't want to stop it but I cant help just wanting to prolong th emotions to keep me suspended in this limbo for just a little while longer.
I'm not ready but I'm not afraid to try. I am just afraid of failing. I am afraid of regretting. I don't want to question myself with 'what if's' and 'maybes'. But if life was so easy to work through then we wouldn't need to make decision and our life decisions wouldn't be...that important.
Did I tell you guys that this trip back to Malaysia is just a holiday and I'm planning to go back to New Zealand to work? To build a life with a man I have chosen to be my life partner. I won't say it is a new life for me to build but a life that will be the next level in my world. A life that will be a melding of my old self and the new me who will still make stupid mistakes and stupid remarks but with the recognition that only I can make my future and no one else.
No more hesitations, no more clinging, I think it's time to let go and jump and hope for the best.
Wait for the before and after photos next year.
Till Then
Joanne Diandra
IS EVIL
SUPER EVIL BIATCH!!!!
So cunning, gossip gossip and then leaves me hanging at the most juiciest part!!! I hope you talk intimately to Mr TOilet Bowl after your wine session!
fuh~
I feel better.
Yeah! -_-/
gym is like hell but worse cause you go there on your own freewill
Yeah the title says it all.
I really really hate it but I have to do it. I have a goal. Stop being a pussy and reach for it.
OK, Just tell myself I can do it and I shall!
I can do it.
I Can Do It.
I CAN DO IT.
I CAN DO IT!!!!!!
.
..
...
....
.....
Heck, ma!!! it's not working!
Till Then
It's gonna be one hell of a ride
This month has been a really topsy turvy month for me. I have so many good things to look forward to but I also can't wait to see 2006 go. Some shocking family revelations have come up. I thought all that jazz about sex, infidilities, high jink dramas, money and drugs were only bundled up as a nice package for a Jilly Cooper novel. Boy, was I wrong life is indeed stranger than fiction. The emotions that come with it are pretty painful and heartbreaking.
I want to comfort and soothe but I know it will only make things worse. I know one thing is for sure best friends are no longer talking to each other, an engagement has been broken, a family is no longer a family and I can't do shit about it. Maybe that's why I hate my family so much. They have so much shit in their life that I'm afraid that I too will be like them. I don't want to be not in control, I don't want to lose my family, I don't want to break anybodies hearts and I don't want to be so fearful all the time.
But then lest you think my family is just a bunch of losers they are a goodbunch of people individually, they just sucks as a group. But they are people who try to strive for the better. They stumble and bloody their lip on their way but they move on none the less. For the most part, they are good people with big hearts, knowing all this I still can't bring myself to embrace them in my heart. Maybe, one day when I am more mature and steady of heart.
Alamak, Enough of this!
It's not all doom and gloom here in sunny Sabah there are good things here as well. For one I am gonna go play Dota tonight!!!! Woo hoo!!!! Gonna show off my two cousins who just arrive from Johor and are keen for a game or two. Hyuk hyuk hyuk. Then tommorow am gonna stuff myself at OV fruit farm and then go out with the gang to some night spots to ease their hornyness -_-/ Yoopa!
Christmas is around the corner guys, what are your plans? I'm gonna be dancing Michael Jackson style for the family dance competition, sing like a survivor with Bexbert for the karaoke competition and beat the white water rapids of padas river.
I've been rambling far too long haven't I? Lol next post will be filled with photos! I promise.
Being totally random here, no apologies.
Audrey.