Archives
Hey Guys
I won't be able to blog much for this couple of days cause I gotta buck
up and start on my assignments which are all due in the next two weeks.
Plus, I gotta settle some shit that has hit the fan and is now
scatering all over me. It's all about netball and uni now. Netball is a
priority because I won't be able to make it to Otago with the girls but
I am spending my own time and money to train them and train with them.
I do this with an open mind and know the consequences if this back
fires i.e people think I want to be in charge, people think I want to
be the captain, People think I want to show off, people think I am
being bossy and tyrannical (this one is true
. I've heard it all but I
haven't heard the most essential part where 'people' say she just wants
to help, she knows they can do it but needs someone to push them, she
is doing it because she cares and wants them to win.
Fuck, you think the girls pay hundreds of dollars just to go there and lose?
Some small stuff are coming up within the team. Internal strife which
are so small and petty that it should be ignored. However, ignoring it
would only make it uglier and make a mole hill of nothing into a
mountain of something. I am a true believer that what does not kill you
will only make you stronger. IF the girls pull through this small
mishap they will be a stronger and more trusting team.
I am not writing this to garner symphathy or to get people to be on my
side. I just want to let this out and make it clear from the onset. It
is just a game, but we all gotta remember that it is a game WITH other
people in it. We are not all good players but it doesn't hurt to
give other people a try. Some of the girls look up to the other players
and everyone respects everyone. I have never met a better team of
individuals. They don't bitch but due to some miscommunications
alot of misunderstandings have occured.
All I gotta say is
Fucking grow up and bite the fucking bullet. IF someone has something
bad to say go up to them and say I heard you got a problem with me OR
say Look we have a problem. It's nothing personal. It's between a
player and her team mates. That's all there is to it. But bringing it
into your personal life is just asking for trouble. Plus, its not fair
for everyone else. Quitting the team is also not an option. HEck when I
first heard there was trouble my first instict was to quit. I didn't
want to cause any trouble, that's the last bloody thing I would want to
happen. When I uttered this notions of quitting I realised what a
selfish person I was, we all got into this together and we are gonna
finish it together, through the fucking good, bad and downright ugly.
Look I messed up, we all messed up. Let's try this again from the beggining one more time.
As a peace Offering I offer you Razor Ramon Sumitani (Hard Gay)
Till Then
I don't know
I super don't know what happened to my photos and all, so I guess
might as well start anew. WIll figure out how to work this new baby soon.
Till Then
It 9am
It's freezing cold and I just finished my investigative report! Woo hoo!!! Jut wanted to jot that down in my cyber memory slot. So that one day (like tommorow, most probably) I will look back on my entry and go "Gosh! I was a stupid little wanker wasn't I?"
GOOD MORNING!
and Good night.
Till Then
In my mail box
I want to go back to KK.
When my exams is over
I wanna go dancing and have some fun with my friends.
AND THEN...
HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Buahahahahahahahahahahaha
Till Then
When too many voices are heard at one time
You know when I blog I have a voice inside my head that speaks and I type it all out. Sometimes the voice in me is me and sometimes its something else. 'Anger' spews forth when I have been to stressed out or bugged out by stupid people, things and myself. 'Stupidity' brings in an opinion or two and sometimes stupidity gives out ingenious ideas to entertain myself via writing i.e making a fool of myself.
The frequent voices I hear are mostly 'anger' , 'loneliness', 'boredom' they are key guests in my head. They frequently moan and whine to me, making it incessantly hard to write or surf much alone STUDY!! (note how I inserted my excuse of not studying oh-so subtly).
Then, there are the rare guest who don't come by often but when they come a knocking it litearly blows me away. There is 'sadness', 'pain', 'betrayal' and most importantly 'joy'.
My first attempt at blogging was to bring joy in peoples (a.k.a family) lives not because they read my blog but because I could post funny pictures and anecdotes to make them/ someone smile for a while.(this is the politically correct me writing)
Slowly but surely this blog has become something of a narssistic outlet for myself as well an outlet to become a better writer. It seems to be working because I finally got an A for my essay (happy days).
There are multiple voices right now at work trying to finish this entry. All of them wanting to have a say. But I won't let them out just yet. Because today, 'mysterious' came by and said 'hi'.
Till Then
I were to die today
If I were to breath my last today I would first:
Write a love letter to my parents, siblings, my partner and my close friends.
Inside the letter I would leave a photo of us together.
I would then proceed to write a will. I have nothing and yet so much to give.
I would then finish my video/photo slide show which would be shown during my funeral.
After this I would go out strip myself bare and run around naked in my backyard I would then take a shower, wash my hair and condition it.
Then I would dry myself and blow dry my hair. Comb my hair and tie it in a ponytail.
I would then cuddle up to my partner and cry myself to sleep and hope that I will die in his arms.
Worst thing to happen is to die alone. I wish to breathe my last by hearing someone breathing their forevers in the background.
Till Then
For Mei.
p/s or to be more realistic I would just die and have no time to do the above mentioned.